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Big Wheel or Fifth Wheel?

Monday, Feb. 26, 2007 12:25 AM


You'd think that a White House drill to assess government response in a terrorist attack would be attended by the president.

You'd be wrong.

White House Homeland Security Advisor Frances F. Townsend proposed a scenario in which ten cities across the country had been attacked using IEDs. The exercise involved 'top Homeland Security officials'; all Cabinet agencies were represented by either their respective secretaries or other high-ranking officials.

Where was President Bush? Riding his bicycle.

Where was Cheney? Off galumphing about and playing the, "I'm not commenting on Speaker Nancy Pelosi's patriotism, I'm just calling her a stupid, weak-assed liberal bitch stumping for al Qaeda" game. (Hey, Dick, I'm not commenting on your patriotism, either. You really are a corrupt, greedy, duplicitous, fascist son-of-a-bitch. If you can't be trusted with a shotgun, why should I trust you with the authority to release nuclear weapons? Have a nice day.)

While White House Spokesman Scott Stanzel praised the drill as showing many improvements since Hurricane Katrina, it also shows that President Bush continues to be a clueless buffoon who couldn't defend a sand castle at low tide. (Cheney, on the other hand, would take credit for the high tide receding and making us safer whilst blaming the whole tide thing on the Democrats in the first place.)

That he was out riding a bike instead of sitting dumfounded in a situation room is not, in my mind, an improvement. (Remember, the Boy King couldn't even remember the word hurricane in the midst of a briefing about one.)


Congratulations to former Vice-President Al Gore for winning the Academy Award for Best Documentary.

I am thankful he had the good sense to not announce any presidential aspirations.

Now if only the gushing idiots having masturbatory fantasies over the remnants of the Clinton Presidency heading to the White House in 2009 would have equally good sense and stop obsessing over their idols.

I don't give a good goddamn about what a candidate is going to do during their first term. We've got problems in the here and now, that require us to be focused and present. Let's see you address these issues, and maybe – just maybe – that will establish that you have the chops to talk about sitting in the Oval Office come 2009.



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