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For Your Benefit

Saturday, Aug. 25, 2007 12:11 AM

The Pentagon is establishing a round-the-clock 'Iraq Communications Desk' to apparently share all the surging joy from the goodness that is Iraq. Or gather and distribute information in a more 'efficient and timely manner.'

But what is missing is any commitment from the Pentagon and/or the White House to effect changes based on that information. Despite claims that we're constantly changing our strategy, we nonetheless seem to be mired in the midst of another 'six months' as we wait for the Surge to take hold.

Instead, what we're likely to be seeing is what Donald Rumsfeld referred to as 'countering false propaganda.' (That his statement never drew criticism from the media is astounding, as propaganda is always false.)

"I would not characterize it as a war room," Pentagon press secretary Geoff Morell commented. "It's far less sinister than that. It's more like a library."

Yeah, right. The Administration that classifies everything behind labels of 'national security' and 'executive privilege' is going to operate a library. Now that's a laugh. Excuse me if I take the new, improved access to The Facts with a grain of salt.

"It's for our benefit and for your benefit," Morrell added.

You'd think a press guy would come up with a better line than one that sounds like those bands placed on hotel toilet seats.

And, sorry, but saying managed data is for my benefit is implying that I'm too stupid to understand The Truth and see all the goodness that we've wrought in Iraq. (But then, I'm just an elite, effete snob that reads too many books and uses too many long words.) It's another rendition of single-source worldview. Trust me, all those other people are liars.

It should be noted that Associated Press, among other media outlets, is still reporting that the September report is coming from General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker, when it is actually coming from the White House.

Managed data. For your benefit.

A beautiful response from an assistant state attorney prosecuting former astronaut Lisa Nowak � who drove cross-country to assault a romantic rival (and fellow astronaut).

In a statement before the court, Nowak bemoaned the monitoring bracelet she is required to wear as inhibiting her ability to exercise 'as she is required as a military officer,' and that the bracelet's cost is a financial hardship.

"You're paying a media consultant," assistant state attorney Pamela Davis noted. "Fire the consultant."

And from the other side comes the ridiculous statement by Nowak's defense team. The media had reported that Nowak had used adult diapers on her cross-country drive; Nowak herself told an Orlando police detective that she had used the diapers to limit stops on her drive.

Her lawyer now says those diapers were left in the car after a long-ago hurricane evacuation.


I was browsing a local bookstore and noticed two titles playing off the best-selling piece of crap, 'The Secret.'

The first is by an author who purports to tell you what God's role in The Secret is. So apparently, this heretofore secret law of attraction either requires God's blessing, or you have to acknowledge God as the motive force in the universe, or something.

The second was entitled something like, 'The Secret Beyond The Secret,' claiming to tell you the ... um ... secret to understanding the secret of The Secret.

Which means 'The Secret' didn't actually give you the secret, right? That there's another secret involved?

Methinks the real secret is that P.T. Barnum was right: there's one born every minute.

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