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Speak, And Remove All Doubt

Thursday, Feb. 05, 2009 9:52 AM

We begin with former Vice-President Dick Cheney holding forth about how another terrorist attack, this time with nuclear or biological weapons, is just over the horizon, and it will all be Obama's Fault, because, as We All Know, Bush Kept Us Safe.

Because Obama sat there for the past eight years and neglected our infrastructure, our ports, our rail and transit systems, our food supply, and gave us nothing but color-coded fearmongering.

Cheney cites the 61 detainees-ran-off-and-joined-al-Qaeda figure, even though that's been debunked, and continues to whinge about how the prisoners at Guantanamo are So Dangerous that we can't give them the benefit of the laws and freedoms we're trying to sell in the Middle East, we can't try them, release them, or even detain them on American soil.

Next comes Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa), who wonders if there's a double standard relating to Obama.

Or, rather, the use of his middle name. King laments that it's apparently okay for President Obama to use his full name in taking the oath of office, but it's not okay for critics to use it on-air or in speeches.

That would be because most of the critics making a point of using President Obama's middle name are/were trying to push this secret-Muslim-Arab-terrorist bullshit.

Then there's Rep. Pete Sessions (R-Texas), who suggested the GOP needs to follow the model of the Taliban insurgency, because the Democrats aren't being bipartisan enough.

Sessions clarified that he, um, wasn't, um, actually comparing the GOP to the Taliban, but that, um, there's a model for insurgency, um.

With former Florida Governor Jeb Bush's suggestion that the GOP should form a 'shadow government' to protect and promote conservative values during Obama's presidency, it's becoming clear that there's conservative and then there's the race-baiting loony-tunes xenophobes calling themselves the GOP.

The new head of the RNC, Michael Steele, is trying to resurrect Reagan's 'government is bad' meme, proudly stating that no government has ever created jobs.

Because, you see, they select contractors, and the contractors actually do the hiring.

Steele might want to take a look at the TSA, which was created by the government in response to 9/11 and is wholly funded by the government.

And former Rep. Tom Daschle gets an honorable mention and a Boot to the Head for 'not realizing' he had to pay taxes for his driver.

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