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Three Really Dumb Things Before Breakfast

Thursday, Apr. 26, 2007 12:26 AM

Topping the list is presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani, who explains, "If any Republican is elected president � and I think obviously I would be best at this � we will remain on offense and will anticipate what (the terrorists) will do and try to stop them before they do it."

Let's remember exactly who was standing watch when 9/11 took place, Mr. 9/11. It was � wait for it ��the Republicans!. Who, after being warned by Richard Clarke the very same week that President Bush took office, diddled about waiting for the issue to be 'framed.' An administration that ignored documents suggesting al-Qaeda had a major operation at hand, and, as we learned last week, corroborating documents from France. Instead, we had a resounding chorus of We Didn't Know.

Keep America safe? When Hurricane Katrina struck, President Bush couldn't even remember the word hurricane. Vice President Cheney was on vacation. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was off buying shoes.

I don't know who's more medicated: President Bush or the First Lady.

Asked about Iraq, Laura solemnly professed that, "No one suffers more than the president and I do."

Mrs. Bush, when was the last time you or your husband actually spoke to someone who lost a family member in Iraq? And, in light of revelations that the Army misreported and actively sought to conceal details of Ranger Pat Tillman's death by friendly fire, how dare you presume that you could possibly be suffering more than the Tillman family?

Lastly, in the wake of the shootings at Virginia Tech, Yale's Dean of Student Affairs, Betty Trachtenberg, made the profound determination that the use of stage weapons in theatrical productions were to be limited.

And so, on opening day of the show, "Red Noses," students were made to exchange their stage swords for wooden ones. This was a compromise from Trachtenberg's original desire to have no stage weapons used at all.

On Monday, Trachtenberg's decision was overruled.

Still, Trachtenberg called student criticism of the ban, exagerrated.

"I think people should start thinking about other people rather than trying to feel sorry for themselves and thinking that the administration is trying to thwart their creativity," Trachtenberg said. "They're not using their own intelligence. � We have to think of the people who might be affected by seeing real-life weapons."
Sure as hell, someone's not using their intelligence. But I don't think it's the students in this case.

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