John Doe Is Not The Face of America

It begins:

Dear Muslim Terrorist Plotter / Planner / Funder / Enabler / Apologist,

� and basically goes downhill from there. Because we all know that terrorists are only come wrapped in turbans and the trappings of Islam. Malkin then sees fit to include 'enablers' and 'apologists' in her anonymous pogrom program.

Which basically covers anyone who isn't snorting the jingoistic tautology being passed off as patriotism and supporting our troops. It perpetuates the paranoid fantasies that We Are A Country Under Siege, that Islamic extremists are Hiding In Your Neighborhood and poised to take over City Hall, Congress, and the community swimming pool.

Really. The John Doe oath states, "I will resist the imposition of sharia principles and sharia law in my taxi cab, my restaurant, my community pool, the halls of Congress, our national monuments, the radio and television airwaves, and all public spaces."

Now, I'm sure Malkin and her faithful followers will have some sordid tale to prove their point, but if you're expecting to find terrorists, and are, in fact, convinced they exist in such vast numbers and are possessed of such power that they have successfully infiltrated American society at all levels � well, you're certainly going to find them.

But I'll be honest. I'm more fearful of anonymous 'patriots' hyped up on Malkin's particular brand of conservative lunacy than I am of terrorists lurking down the street. The last time I heard suspicious noises in the backyard, it was a possum raiding a bowl of cat food we leave out for ferals.

If you want to fight terrorism that badly, go fucking sign up for a tour or six in Iraq.

Don't take an anonymous pledge to torment cab drivers and think you're doing anyone a service.

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