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Asleep At The Helm / No Bones About It

Tuesday, Feb. 27, 2007 10:05 AM

So Vice-President Dick Cheney pops by Pakistan to tell Pervez Musharraf that the former general is Just Not Doing Enough to fight terrorism.

Um, who broke off looking for Osama bin Laden to pursue masturbatory fantasies about Saddam Hussein, again?

In the midst of Cheney's 'surprise' visit to the region, a suicide bomber dropped by the front gate of Bagram Air Base.

The Taliban is claiming responsibility, but this is being discounted since Cheney's trip was a 'secret'. An Air Force spokesman says the bombing did not appear to be intended as a threat against Cheney, who was safely inside the base.

President Bush received word of the attack Tuesday morning, but had not been awakened to be told of the incident.

Let's check the scorecard:

Big Important Homeland Security Drill: Bush Goes Bike Riding
Suicide Bomber Outside Base Where Vice-President Cheney Is: Bush Asleep

The DailyKos reports that the White House is quietly removing links to previous interviews with Bush Administration officials.

For example, the interview in which Vice-President Cheney declared that we would be greeted as liberators can no longer be found. Nor can his May 30, 2005 appearance on Larry King Live, in which he declared that the insurgency was in its 'last throes'.

The implication is that the Administration is indulging in retroactive ass-covering and removing or simply not posting items that could later be pointed to as evidence of members' respective degrees of cranial-rectal alignment.

It should be noted that the Bush Administration has been less than forthright about its media record. Back in 2001, when then-White House Spokesman Ari Fleischer made the comment that it was 'unpatriotic to criticize the President,' those words were absent from the posted transcript and added back later.

However, claims that one cannot find reference to 'Iraq' through the search engine is incorrect. (It's simple enough to check, and there's a big difference between 10,000+ hits and no hits at all.)

The White House website is also undergoing a redesign, which may explain expired links.

First Lady Laura Bush told CNN's Larry King that 'many parts of Iraq are stable,' and that it's only the 'one bombing a day that discourages everybody.'

Reality? Meet Laura Bush. Laura Bush, mee� hey, wait! Reality, where are you going! Come back!

Filmmaker James Cameron may well be on the way to achieving cultural irrelevance. A documentary set to air this weekend on the Discovery Channel reveals 'physical evidence' that Jesus Christ existed: his tomb.

Hold off for a moment on the Christian belief that Christ rose on the third day, and that He later ascended into Heaven.

Cameron's production revolves around the discovery of several small caskets, discovered in 1980, which may have held the bones of Jesus and his family. The caskets are engraved with the names of Jesus, a variation of Mary Magdalene, and even, "Judah, son of Jesus."

Critics counter that the names are all common ones, and that it proves nothing.

The film's director, Simcha Jacobovici, claims that DNA evidence can be extracted from the ossuaries (any bones found within were re-interred as a standard archaeological practice in Israel). He claims that DNA analysis has already proven that 'Jesus' and 'Mariamene' (Mary Magdalene) were not siblings, and therefore could have been husband and wife.

Note that it doesn't prove that 'Jesus' was 'Jesus Christ'.

The ossuaries and the alleged significance of their contents have been disputed before, but apparently Cameron and the Discovery Channel see fit to crack open the Biblical version of Al Capone's Secret Vault.

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