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The Delusional Thinking of George W. Bush

Monday, Jan. 15, 2007 12:48 AM

After posting Friday's shredding of the President's speech, I wondered if I had, in fact, been too much of a wordy bastard.

But I think, instead, that this is exactly the problem that plagues the media. In order to cram all the salient details into a minute-and-a-half news story, small things like semantics, word choice, and specious logic get discarded.

In the long run, that continues to portray Mr. Bush's policies and actions as nothing more than the legitimate actions of a head of state with whom a handful of folks disagree.

Speaking of which, it should come as no surprise that King George the XXXXIII has determined that he doesn't need Congress' approval to send more troops. He's the Decider, and he's decided to send them.

But, as they say, buyer beware. If you truly think this policy is sound, take a look at how many times the word, "IRAN" ends up in a sentence. We're deploying to Iraq, but the problem is Iran, the insurgents funded and coming from Iran, the nuclear weapons in Iran, and so on.

Today's logical fallacy comes in the guise of Dick Cheney's, "I don't see the Democrats coming up with a better solution."

Pay attention, class. It's not about the win-lose dilemma that Bush and Cheney keep waving under your noses. They continue to insist that their goals were and are sound, and � despite talk of mistakes being made and responsibility being accepted � you have to accept their definition of the problem.

Imagine if they'd decided that they could dig a tunnel through the center of the earth and reach China. They dig, and dig, and dig. Pretty soon, the White House lawn is covered with dirt, the interior of the building is littered with scaffolding and tools. The troops are on their third and fourth deployments, and many of them have been killed by falling rock, cave-ins, and hitting pockets of magma. Not to mention the increasing heat taking a toll on the soldiers.

James Baker and Lee Hamilton come by and point out that while it's true China is on the opposite side of the globe, you can't really dig your way through the earth to get there.

Nancy Pelosi drops by and warns them that they'll undermine the foundation of the White House, and it will collapse on their heads.

Joe Lieberman comes by and says he thinks a tunnel to China is a good idea. Even though he just ran on a platform stating the exact opposite.

John McCain offers the wisdom that he never said digging the tunnel to China would be easy (even though he said just that when they first broke ground), and that what is really needed is a good, hard digging effort.

Generals Casey and Abizaid come by to inform the President that they've looked carefully at the plan, and while the strategy was sound at the outset, it's clear they haven't the right machinery or enough troops to dig the hole all the way to China.

Bush nonetheless declares that he's consulted with everyone, and it's been agreed that they'll keep digging. The problem isn't with the digging, you see, it's all the rocks that are getting in the way. It's the magma, which has to come from someplace with volcanoes, like Mexico and Hawaii. But that's okay, we'll deal with that, too.

Bush also insists that China has promised to meet us halfway. (They're actually laughing their asses off, and won't turn so much as a shovelful of dirt.) But as they dig further, we'll dig less.

The Democrats say they'll cut off the funding for the tunnel in Congress.

Dick Cheney goes on the Sunday morning talk shows to complain that the Democrats haven't presented a better plan for digging a tunnel to China. That failure to dig the tunnel would pretty much point out that Bush and Cheney are first-class idiots. We don't want to be seen as not having the stomach to dig all the way to China, or that we can be dissuaded from the goal just by hitting a little rock.

That we've lost over 3,000 men digging this tunnel isn't mentioned at all.

The lesson is that we must divorce America's foreign policy from the delusions of those who occupy the White House. It is not that we face terrorists, or that national security is unimportant, but the increasingly bizarre and dangerous fantasy that is 'our mission in Iraq.'

We're already seeing what soldiers call 'mission creep' as the definition changes and evolves in order to protect Bush's imagined legacy. Now, that creeping motion is carrying us towards conflict with another Islamic state. It's like watching a toddler, fascinated with the flame on the stove, get ready to stick his hand the fire.

Unfortunately, most toddlers seem to have more common sense than our president, as it only takes getting burned once for them to learn their lesson.

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