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Deserts Have Tides?

Thursday, Jun. 15, 2006 1:47 AM

After his super-duper-ultra-secret hush-hush on-the-sly photo op visit to Baghdad to meet with Iraqi Prime Minister al-Maliki and a now-complete array of ministers for key departments, President Bush held a press conference Wednesday morning to tell America ...

... absolutely nothing.

Really. There's not a damn thing that's new in President Bush's prepared remarks, or the answers he gave to reporters.

We're still going after the terrorists. We're still going to strike their network, disrupt their operations, and bring their leaders to justice. We'll stand down when the Iraqis stand up. Americans have to be patient. Americas have to be prepared for further sacrifices.

More ironic is the assertion that 'we' � America � want to help the Iraqis police their internal affairs and root out corruption. Hmmm, is that a diplomatic post for Tom DeLay in the offing? Perhaps Ken Lay or Jeff Skilling?

We'll even encourage and help them to investigate and punish human rights violations in order to earn the confidence of all Iraqis. After all, we've got plenty of experience, having had our bit of fun in Abu Ghraib.

But wait, it gets better.

We're going to create a rule of law initiative!

Excuse me while I either laugh my ass off or puke in revulsion.

On to the question and answer session!

Bush tells one reporter (Associated Press' Nedra Pickler) that, "This is a tough struggle, and the reason why is because the rules of warfare as we used to know them are out the window. I mean, there's no rule of warfare."

So why are we rushing to break the rules on our end?

Bush goes on to say he'd like to close Guantanamo's detention center, but warns that some of the detainees are 'darn dangerous.' Bush's view is that the best way to handle them is through military courts, and he's waiting for the Supreme Court to rule on that.

Which must be why the Justice Department keeps stonewalling and weaseling every time the question gets near a court.

Bush repeats Donald Rumsfeld's line that 99.9 percent of our troops are honorable, decent people who are serving our country under difficult conditions. Damn that 0.10 percent! Who do they think they are!

And, not surprisingly, Bush throws in the obligatory jabs at the Democrats, painting them as every last man and woman ready to bail � the only question being how fast; and the old hokum-scarum of the Democrats are going to raise your taxes.

Yessir, and he tied it all into George's the Global War on Terror. Iraq has gone from being Ground Zero to just another theater. Anyone want to guess where the next theater is?

Could it be ... Iran?

And it wouldn't be a presidential press conference without a verbal misstep, which Mr. Bush proudly provided as a reporter asked if the tide was turning in Iraq.

"I think --- tide turning -- see, as I remember -- I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of -- it's easy to see a tide turn -- did I say those words?"

Honestly, folks, the man doesn't have a fucking clue. As evidenced by his banter about a reporter's sunglasses:

Bush: Are you going to ask that question with shades on?

Reporter: I can take them off.

Bush: I'm interested in the shade look, seriously.

Reporter: All right, I'll keep it, then.

Bush: For the viewers, there's no sun. (Laughter.)

There's a reason reporter Peter Wallsten wears sunglasses. He's legally blind.

Addendum, 5:58 AM

Wallsten says that Bush called him later in the day to apologize, saying he was unaware of the reporter's condition.

The Ministry has received 1 comment(s) on this topic.

Brin - 2006-06-15 02:55:18
I guess W's speechwriter's Smith-Corona was already in the banker's box along with the WhiteOut and the paper-clip sculpture.