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Violins & Shovels

Monday, Feb. 06, 2006 12:01 AM

The old joke says the best way to Carnegie Hall is practice.

But structural engineer Mats Tinnsten wants to try computer modeling.

His goal? To duplicate the sound of a Stradivarius violin. It's a task that may or may not be possible, depending on what the secret to Stradivari's success was. Over the years, experts have chalked it up to everything from climate-specific wood to the varnish the master used.

I'd really like to know how al-Qaeda pulled this one off.

Twenty-three prisoners. A tunnel close to 500 feet long, dug with outside help. All conveniently the day before a major terrorist trial began.

And nobody noticed?

Much as I enjoy watching The Great Escape and The Shawshank Redemption, you'd think it'd be harder to pull stunts like this one off.

What'd they do, run an ad?

If you're not into torture, or treatment that's in-humane
If you hate that life sentence, or getting shot in the brain
If you like bombing ships in harbor, give al-Jazeera the tape
You're the thug that we've looked for, dig a hole and escape!

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