The Ministry of Shadows

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What The Internet Will Look Like Under SOPA
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You Are Dumb


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The Christmas Song, Revised

Thursday, Dec. 22, 2005 12:19 AM


In the wake of self-appointed defenders of Christmas proclaiming it as a solely Christian observance and decrying some vast, liberal conspiracy against Chrismas, Christianity, and the concept of America-as-a-Christian-Nation, we present a seasonal favorite, The Christmas Song, with all secular and non-Christian references removed.

The Christmas Song

Chestnuts roasing on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide Carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots, with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you.





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