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The Evils of Soy

Wednesday, Dec. 13, 2006 2:10 PM


Among outgoing Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's regrets: calling the war on terror the war on terror.

"I don't think I would have called it the war on terror. I don't mean to be critical of those who have. Certainly, I have used the phrase frequently. Why do I say that? Because the word 'war' conjures up World War II more than it does the Cold War. It creates a level of expectation of victory and an ending within 30 or 60 minutes of a soap opera. It isn't going to happen that way. Furthermore, it is not a 'war on terror.' Terror is a weapon of choice for extremists who are trying to destabilize regimes and (through) a small group of clerics, impose their dark vision on all the people they can control. So 'war on terror' is a problem for me," Rumsfeld explained to conservative columnist Cal Thomas.

Note that it's not Rumsfeld's fault for predicting a swift victory, but America's fault for being a bunch of retards. We Just Don't Get It, after all.

Rumsfeld also says that Iraq is beyond a military solution, that the answer does not lie in sending more troops, and that there's a clear incentive problem – that as long as American soldiers are there to 'dig ditches,' the Iraqis won't bother.

All things that We Who Just Don't Get It have been saying for some time now.


Don't eat soy products. They'll make you gay.

Or so claims Jim Rutz, who derides soy as a 'devil food' and insists that soybean products are feminizing. (Rutz is quick to point out that he's a health-food guy, just so we all know he's not anti-health food.)

Soybeans, according to Rutz, contain mind-boggling amounts of estrogens. Women are endangered because of the excess amounts; men are at risk because you're "… suppressing your masculinity and stimulating your 'female side,' physically and mentally."

Well, someone clearly needs mental stimulation. I'm thinking it's Rutz.

Rutz cites research, but never names doctors or scientists, or even where the study came from. Instead, he makes generalizations and leaps of logic that simply aren't supported.

Incidentally, Rutz says soy sauce is okay, because it's fermented – but tofu is right out. (Hint: tofu is bean curd. it's also fermented.)


Of course, now that our sexuality is safe, let's check in with the Saving Our Souls Department:

Two progressive Christian groups are asking Wal-Mart and other retailers to remove the "Left Behind" video game from their shelves this Christmas.

The game, based on the books by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, puts players in the role of Christian insurgents, fighting against the anti-Christ. Your job is to convert 'em … or kill 'em.

Oddly enough, there's lots of Arabic-sounding names. And you can't convert Muslims, so I guess you gotta kill 'em all. Then pray a bit to restore your lost spirit points.

"The game does not endorse prejudice," says Jeffrey Frichner, president of Left Behind Games. "(But) Muslims are not believers in Jesus Christ …" -- and thus can't be on Christ's side in the game.

Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family group calls it, "… the kind of game that Mom and Dad can actually play with junior."

I'll leave that bit to your imagination.

So, if games like Grand Theft Auto are responsible for the decline of society and are the root causes of school shootings, what will children take away from a game where you're gunning down infidels (because you can't convert them)?



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