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Explosive Sports Drinks Cause Panic

Thursday, Aug. 10, 2006 12:46 PM


I'm concerned about terrorism.

Really.

But this irresponsible pandering to fear masquerading as a security alert is absolutely disgusting.

Supposedly, a plot involving the use of a British Gatorade-like drink and a 'gel-like substance' would result in an explosive that could be detonated by an MP3 player or cell phone.

In a brilliant move by authorities, all passengers headed to or departing from U.S. airports are banned from carrying any liquid in their carry-ons. I'd be interested in finding out if that includes bottles of Pedia-sure for ailing infants (which is an electrolyte restoring beverage not unlike Gatorade).

I'd also like to know, precisely, what is in Gatorade that makes it flammable or incendiary when combined with this mysterious gel-like substance. Frankly, it's either a gel, or it isn't. And why would this mysterious gel-like substance pass explosives screening at an airport?

How is this gel-like substance created? Is it a powder combined with water? Do we now also ban anything that comes in powder form? Prevent people from using the toilet so they can't hydrate something behind a closed door?

And if the ingredients in a Gatorade-like beverage make a base for this device, what else is possible using beverages that are routinely available on an airplane? Watch out for that guy in 14A, he ordered a Diet Coke and his breath smells like Mentos.

Other points that citizens should examine critically instead of accepting media or government reports without thinking:

1. The Pakistani government, whom President Bush has criticized for not being tough enough in the fight against terorrism, apparently uncovered the plot. If they've been doing such a crappy-ass job, did they suddenly get religion, or is this like cleaning up a neighborhood to convince y'all the mayor is tough on crime?

2. It involves planes. It's got to be al Qaeda.

3. Did we mention al Qaeda?

4. British police are banning people from carrying electronic key fobs (like for your car alarm). I don't know about your car, but on mine, those controls are now integrated into the key itself. So I can't take my car keys on a plane now? What about pocket flashlights?

5. The British Airports Authority is also banning all hand luggage on all flights leaving British airports. Would that include a woman's purse? A day planner?

6. The plotters were, "... getting close to the execution phase," according to Michael Chertoff. Did we mention al Qaeda?

7. We don't know if we caught all of the suspects. It's a plane. It must be al Qaeda.

8. CNN's "terrorism expert" points out that we're coming up on the 5th Anniversary of 9/11. We're a fucking month away from that date. Are we going to have security-scare-o-rama shoved up our asses until then? (Ideally, if I were a terrorist, I'd strike at some other time, to show the enemy they're not safe at any time.)

9. We're at red alert. Where's Captain Kirk when you really need a guy in the center seat who knows what he's doing? Spock, what's in that gel-like substance?

10. Regardless, CNN has a link to video on their website entitled, How to Get Through Security Faster.

It's a bad sign when the government issues a terrorism warning, supposedly backed by credible information, and it has the relative impact of those stupid e-mail memes about kidney thieves in Las Vegas.

I'd wager that we won't ever hear anything about these suspects being on trial.

And just in case you've forgotten:

Israel and Lebanon are still dropping bombs on each other.
Lebanon still won't talk to Condoleeza Rice.
Iraq is still being consumed by civil war.
Dick Cheney thinks a vote for Ned Lamont is a vote for al Qaeda.
Did we mention al Qaeda?



The Ministry has received 1 comment(s) on this topic.



Janet - 2006-08-11 03:41:05
I just find it REAL interesting the timing of this latest event, that's all I'm saying. Read into that what you will. Enjoy your sane posts, Bob.